Links and Kinks
by BackwardsMuffin
Summary: Never click on a link Noah Puckerman sends you, especially when it's to a strange site called Fanfiction.
1. Finn and Kurt

**A/N ... EllaBellaDaniella. I blame you for this. :D x**

'Kurt?'

'Yes Finn'

'I need to use the laptop, like right now.'

'and why may that be?'

'Puck just sent me a link to this weird site, said I HAD to check it out.'

'but I'm working.'

'facebooking Blaine is hardly wor-'

'FINE. What's the address?'

'Kurt,let me type it..'

'Finn, what's the address?'

'But Kurt I-'

'FINN.'

'Fine, it's...hang on... it's Fanfiction dot com no, wait... dot net.'

*types and clicks*

'Kk, wait two seconds...'

'...'

'okay, here it is. What do I do now?'

'go onto TV shows'

*clicks*

'Okay. now?'

'Scroll down...'

'...'

'further'

'...'

'further.'

'...'

'NO stop, back up.'

'Which one do I click?'

'The one called Glee.'

'Err...okay?'

*clicks*

'...'

'Woah. Finn what is this?'

'I don't know dude, Puck just said there was some crazy shit on this site.'

'Too right there is. What the hell, these stories all have our names in them. Wha- WHAT?'

'Dude, this is creepy.'

'You're telling me Finn.'

'...'

'...'

'Hey, what's Furt?'

*clicks*

'Finn, I am actually freaking out now, they even have my dad and Carole's names here.'

'Hey, this is about us. Holy Crap, this is at our parents wedding! Who the hell wrote a story about us at a wedding?'

'Finn, who the hell writes stories about us full stop. This was under TV shows Finn. TV SHOWS. Seriously, we aren't on TV, so what the hell is going on here.'

'I don't know man... Hey did I really cry?'

'SUBJECT FINN. We are being stalked by crazy writers. I am not particularly bothered by your crying at the moment.'

'...'

'HEY FINN. GIVE ME BACK THE MOUSE.'

'NO WAY. I just saw a Klaine story. We are so checking this out.'

'NO. Give that ba-'

'...'

*cough* 'FINN, you can't just stuff poptarts in people's mouths. For a start, do you know how many calories there are in these things?'

'SUBJECT Kurt.'

'Don't give me that look Finn. Only 'Cedes and I can use that look.'

'...'

'...'

'EWW. GROSS. MY EYES.'

'OH MY GOD.'

'THIS IS PORN.'

'BACK FINN. GO BACK.'

'AHH, IT WON'T STOP.'

'JUST MAKE IT GO AWAY FINN.'

'...'

'...'

'...'

'Now. Now I'm scared.'

'Dude. I just saw you and Blaine getting your groove on. Who do you think is more scared right now.'

'Firstly, you didn't see it. And secondly, no, I am definitely more scared. Someone is writing PORN, about ME. This is all kinds of WRONG.'

'...'

'...'

'Bad mental images dude. Really really bad. I am never gonna see you in the same light'

'Your fault for clicking on it.'

'You could have warned me that's what you and Blaine did at the weeken-'

'FINN. We have been dating for less than a month. WE HAVE NOT HAD SEX.'

'...that's not what this say's.'

'FINN. This is a story. It's not real... (no matter how much I wish)'

'Didn't catch that last bit bro.'

'IT DOESN'T matter'

'Geez calm down dude.'

'Call me dude one more time.'

'Sorry du- Kurt. Sorry.'

'Good, now let's find something else to look at.'

'...'

'...'

'What's Pummel?'

*clicks*

'...'

'...'

'NO. NOT AGAIN. NO.'

'You and Puck? DUDE what the he- OW'

'Shut up and just get out of the story.'

'Okay Okay,'

'...'

'...'

*clicks*

'Ooh, Santtitany. I can guess what this is about.'

'No Finn.'

'...'

'Finn, don't scroll down... I warning you...'

'...'

'OH DEAR LORD,'

'Kurt, Give me the mous- HEY- Don't go back yet.'

'Finn.'

'But I-'

'But nothing. You are NOT going to go all pervy on our friends.'

'but-'

'NO. Now we are going to get off this website right now, and call Noah and give him an absolute bullshitting about the mental scarring he has just put us through.'

'Agreed. I'll still never see you guys the same though, seriously, strawberry flavour-'

'FINN.'

'Fine, fine, I'll leave it.'

'Good, I am off to book myself a therapy appointment, my mind may never be the same.'

'Okay bro, you go do that...'

'...'

'...'

'Finn?'

'Yeah?'

'What are you doing?'

*adds to web favourites*

'Nothi-'

'...'

'OW.'


	2. Blaine, Wes and David

A/N as the first part was based on a REAL conversation I had over FF, this on may be harder to write, but I gave it a try

*Bzzzzz Bzzzzz*

'Blaine, get your phone. It's making an annoying buzzing sound.'

'Yes Wes. Phones tend to do that.'

'Well make it stop. I want to sleeeep.'

'It's 4.30 in the afternoon'

*Bzzzzz Bzzzzz*

'Your point being...?'

'Isn't it a little earl-'

'Just pick up the god damn phone Blaine.'

'Alright Geez, calm down Wes, it's just a phone.'

*beep*

'Hey Puck, thought I said only use this number in case of emergencies'

'...'

'What? That is not an emergency'

'...'

'I don't know, my laptops not turned on.'

'...'

'I can check.'

'...who is it?'

'Puck, from McKinley...no no just talking to a friend.'

'...'

'Yeah, err ok. But why?'

'...'

'Seriously.'

'...'

'I just want a reason to go all the way across my room to turn on my laptop and see this site.'

'...'

'Err...should I ask Kurt about it?'

'...'

'Ok, I'll keep quiet then.'

'...'

'Wes can you call David in here, Puck says you guys should read this thing too.'

'NO, Sleep'

'WES'

'fine, fine.'

*door slams* *computer whirs*

'It's loading.'

...

'Ok, what's the site called?'

...

'hang on just two secs... there, it's loading.'

'WE'RE HERE.'

Blaine, what is going on. Wes just dragged me from the common room saying something about a Puck?'

'Ssshhh I'm on the pho- Yeah it's loaded, what do I click?'

'...what's he doing Wes?'

'I don't know, just wait.'

'...'

'Yeah. Ok...wait...why is there my Name...Kurt's? WHAT IS THIS PUCK? – Don't Hang up on Me, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT PUCKERMAN, Don't you-'

*beep beep beep *

'He hung up on me.'

'We guessed.'

'...'

'So Blainey Bear- why did Wes drag me all the way up here?'

'To see this website. Puck...from McKinley, just rang me, said you guys would want to see this too.'

'What is it?'

'I'm not quite sure, just a story, called Original Songs, on this weird site called FanFiction it has Kurt and my names in the description, so I guess that's why he wants me to read it, but he said not to tell Kurt, which is just odd, but there you go.'

'So...'

'So...'

*unison* 'Can we read it Blainey.'

'...'

'Please.'

'Pretty please.'

'With sprinkles...'

'And cherries.'

'and strawberries.'

And unicorns... we know how much you and Kurt love your unicorns.'

'Oh oh, and not forgetting the glittery canaries that sing love songs and dance to single ladi-'

'OK, enough, you can read it...I guess.'

*clicks*

'...'

'Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson were all alone in the boys commons,- it's definitely you guys then.'

'...'

'...'

'Blaine pushed him onto the couch-'

'Oooh'

'Kiss me Blaine, I wa-'

*kissing sounds*

'No need for running commentary Wes, or sound effects David.'

'We were just creating a Moood.'

'...'

*cough*

*splutter*

'Oh God.'

'eww Eww EWW.'

'My God you guys can read fast- Oh. OH. OK NO MORE STORIES.'

*unison* 'Bahahahahahahahahahahahaha.'

'NOT FUNNY GUYS. This is Perverted.'

'What you and Kurtie-pie getting your mack on, pah, like that hasn't already happened.'

'NO, we have been dating for a MONTH David, a MONTH. We have not had...well whatever this...stuff counts as. And since when has 'getting your mack on.' been standard vocabulary.'

'Since we just read a Porno staring the lead warbler and his boyfriend.'

'seriously... that is just...God Blaine. Never, ever EVER, do that to Kurt. I don't think his delicate china doll frame could handle it.'

'Believe me he is not that delicate, he can handle a lot more than you think.'

'OH GOD Blaine. Too Much Information.'

'Wha-WES, you sick minded freak, that is not what I meant- I meant emotionally and – God. Just leave it. I am getting off this story right now.'

'Good.'

'Yeah,'

'David and I don't want to read any more gay porno's'

'no offense Blaine.'

'Yeah, it's just your our friend and thats... thats gross. It's like me seeing a porno staring my girlfriend and her mate.'

'I wouldn't mind seeing that.'

'SHUT UP DAVID. You see what I mean.'

'Yeah... I do, believe me I will never read a story like that again. It's just... wrong.'

'That bulge say's otherwise- OW.'

'Shut up David.- Who would write that, about ME and Kurt. How do they even know us?'

'I dunno mate, check out their other stories, maybe we can see who it is.'

*clicks*

'Well ...'

'...'

'...'

'Ooh, Wevid, let's check that out.'

'Wes, what's Wevid.'

'I have a funny feeling it's something about you and me.'

'Oh God.'

'Yeah.'

'Blaine...'

'yes David?'

'please don't click on that.'

'and why ever not?'

'please. Just please.'

'...'

'...'

'Blaine?'

*clicks*

'NO.'

'...'

'...'

'...'

'Oh this isn't too bad David, we're saf- OH DEAR LORD MY EYES.'

WES! How could you.'

'Ouch. You two like it rough don't you- OW'

'This is kind of hot actual- OW Wes what was that for.'

'Don't Question your sexuality while I'm in the same room as you David, not while reading this ...this thing.'

'...'

'...'

'Blaine a little help here, David is looking at me funny.'

'I can't help that he's attracted to a-'

'Don't say it Blaine.'

'Say what Wes?'

'Don't give me that look Blaine, you know what'

'I don't think I do Wesley.'

'Blaine...'

'Wesley...'

'I know what you were going to say.'

'Oh, that he's attracted to a GAY PORN STAR- OOOWWW'


End file.
